Saturday, January 12, 2013

The Young and the Restless

I turned 24 on December 27th. Come January 30th it will be exactly one year since I moved back home. I feel restless, and on my worst days I fear I have no direction. My friend Maeve posted some quotes recently that particularly struck a chord with me, quotes on friendship and solitude.

Edna O'Brien, 1970s

"We all leave one another. We die, we change - it's mostly change - we outgrow our best friends; but even if I do leave you, I will have passed on to you something of myself; you will be a different person because of knowing me; it's inescapable..."

- Edna O'Brien

Jane Morris, 1865, photographed by Robert Parsons, styled by Rossetti

“It’s no good! It’s no good trying to rid your own aloneness. You’ve got to stick to it all your life. Only at times, at times, the gap will be filled in. At times! But you have to wait for the times. Accept your own aloneness and stick to it, all your life. And then accept the times when the gap is filled in, when they come. But they’ve got to come. You can’t force them.”

- D.H. Lawrence, Lady Chatterley’s Lover

I fill notebooks with words, ideas, I don't know how much they mean. Writing something is often a comfort, sometimes it's necessary, memories slip from my mind like shopping lists. I'm not trying to establish anything here, but to find comfort in the everyday, and to start translating words into action. I comfort myself by assuring myself I still have time, it's filling the time with something, that's the trouble for me. I struggle to live fearlessly and it's time I combatted that.

Regular posting will resume shortly.


  1. I really appreciated these quotes and you posting about how you feel so alone and that your life has no direction sometime, I'm just about to turn 25 and I have returned to living at home.. it makes me so down sometimes that I just have to cry to clear the air. I find writing helps too.

    It's just nice to know sometimes that I'm not the only one out there feeling the way we do..

    Amy x

  2. I know you didn't write this entry to get compliments or empty "you're great!" comments, but I really want to say that you are going to achieve so much in life, Zoe! You are passionate, interested/interesting, wonderful conversation, friendly and highly intelligent.

    I know (believe me), how much of a restrictive pain it can be living at home, in the middle of nowhere, feeling like no-one understands even.. But it's just because you are so much your own person, with your specific interests and dreams. A lot of people are just too obtuse to recognise these wonderful qualities!

    Think of all the great things you achieved in 2012 - Venice! You have your MLitt, no one can take that away from you. And I think 2013 is going to be a great year.

    As well, sometimes it is good to move home and make your peace with where you're from/who you are. A lot of people leave home at 18 and never confront the issues that are integral to their being. xx